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Stephen Colbert Defends Your Dildo

RalphGreco

Apr 03, 2025

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On the heels of this blog we just posted, it seems popular late-night talk show host Stephen Colbert also had something to say about the new proposals on sex toy-buying restrictions the great state of Texas

is trying to enact.

What The Law Says

As mentioned, the proposed TX Senate Bill 3003, will attempt to lay stricter laws on the residents of the Lone Star State when it comes to them buying, owning, or selling sex toys. A further proposed law,

House Bill 1549 will prohibit the sale of sex toys at retail stores that the state does not find “sexually oriented.” This means places like Walmart, CVS, and Target will have to stop selling adult pleasure products. And as Colbert joked in his monologue, there is indeed a law on the books already in Texas where it is illegal for anyone in the state to own six or more “obscene devices.” This is the term the Texas law uses for anything “designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.” Luckily, in 2008, the U.S. Court of Appeals ruled that this statute could not be constitutionally enforced. Like many laws, this restriction exists but with no applicable penalty.

So, one can own as many dildos as one likes presently in Texas and not fear prosecution.

One of Colbert's Many Quips

If 1549 and 3003 pass they could radically restrict how and where sex toys are bought and by whom in the Texas. And as always, these laws are couched in rhetoric where it seems their supporters are trying their best to ‘protect’ children from the purchase of adult materials…something no logically minded person would be against. It’s just how lawmakers go about this goal that brings stories like this and late-night hosts like Steven Colbert to jab, “…around the seventh dildo, it’s fair to be like, 'Dude, what are you doing with seven dildos? They’re scaring the cat.'”

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RalphGreco

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Ralph Greco, Jr. is a professional writer and musician living in the wilds of suburban NJ on the east coast of America.

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