How to Introduce Sex Toys in the Bedroom

Remember when just being naked together felt wild and exciting? But now, maybe things have gotten a little... predictable. You've thought about bringing some toys into the mix, but how do you actually have that conversation without making things awkward? Let’s talk about how you can bring up the subject without leaving anyone feeling inadequate or pressured.

Let’s get one thing clear first - toys are not meant to replace anyone. It’s supposed to enhance what’s already there. Think of it like seasoning an already delicious dish - the food’s great, but with the right addition? Mind-blowing.

Sex toys can work magic in ways our bodies simply can't - I mean, have you ever vibrated on command? They're fantastic for taking the pressure off when performance anxiety creeps in, and they're absolute lifesavers for couples whose bodies operate on different arousal timelines.

When you've been with your partner for years and have seen it all, toys can inject that missing spark of novelty and adventure back into your relationship. Plus, for many women who find orgasms elusive during partner play, the right toy can bridge that pleasure gap and transform "almost there" into "oh my god, yes!"

Shopping for and trying toys together can also be a form of foreplay. Nothing says, “I’m invested in our pleasure,” quite like figuring out vibration patterns together.

Timing matters here. Find a neutral time when you're both relaxed but not already in the middle of getting intimate. Try to approach your partner with something like: "I read about this toy that's supposed to feel amazing, and I immediately thought about how fun it would be to try it with you." Frame it as something that you’re “exploring together" rather than "Here's what I need that you're not providing."

If they seem hesitant, listen to their concerns with genuine curiosity. They might worry the toy means they're not "enough" for you or they may have misconceptions about what using toys means for your relationship. Address these concerns with reassurance and emphasize that toys are about exploring together, not replacing anyone.

If you're both new to sex toys, you can even start with something non-intimidating like a small external vibrator, a silky blindfold, or massage oil. These are gateway toys that don't feel like you’re taking a huge leap.

When it's finally time to try out your new toy(s), it’s time to do some prep work. Make sure you know how it works before bringing it to bed - nothing kills the mood faster than fumbling with instructions or discovering you need batteries you don't have.

Make sure you're both relaxed and have enough time to explore without pressure. Keep a sense of humor handy—if the toy makes a funny noise or doesn't work quite as expected, laugh together rather than letting embarrassment take over.

Start to introduce the toy slowly. Maybe use it first turned off, or use it over clothes before direct contact. Check in with your partner by asking them simple questions like "How does that feel?" or "Do you want more or less pressure?" Remember that the first time with a new toy is about exploration, not performance. It's completely normal if it takes a few tries to figure out what works best for both of you.

After you've played, you can then have a relaxed conversation about the experience. What worked? What didn't? What would you like to try next time? This can open up a broader conversation about your desires and preferences - you might even discover new things about each other that have nothing to do with the toys themselves.

As you both get more comfortable, you might find yourselves naturally curious about trying new types of toys or exploring different sensations together. As long as you’ve got honest communication, a playful attitude, and respect for each other's boundaries, sex toys can open up new worlds of pleasure you might not have discovered otherwise. So go ahead and start that conversation with your partner tonight—your relationship (and your orgasms) might thank you for it.