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smuttexts

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Age: 38

Gender: Male

A little about me - I've been a part of the kink community doing illustrations under the username smutlines on Instagram for the last 5 years. Recently I've found myself with a heap of toys and I thought why not review some of them and let you all know what I think.

  • Reviews(20)
  • Comments(20)
  • The Firmtech - Max Performance Ring.

    smuttexts

    Oct 01, 2025

    The Firmtech - Max Performance Ring.

    The Max Performance Ring from Firmtech is a stretchy, elastic cock ring that uses an innovative clasp to wrap around your balls and over the top of the penis to restrict blood flow for a stronger and longer lasting erection. While this can be used for everyday sex, it is marketed more towards those with ED, so while you will get a bump in hardness and performance if your fit and active, actual performance may vary depending on your personal situation. At a minimum, the Max Performance Ring is a comfortable cock ring that does almost all the right things however its held back by a couple of small QC issues and its high price tag ($60 USD).

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  • OXBALLS - Trisport XL Review. A sling / ring combo that will keep you hard.

    smuttexts

    Sep 29, 2025

    OXBALLS - Trisport XL Review. A sling / ring combo that will keep you hard.

    I still remember seeing OX Balls products when I first started visiting adult stores, they had always looked a bit daunting and I never too the plunge. Now that I've had the opportunity to give this one a go I wish I had taken the plunge sooner! Don't let the looks of this cock ring fool you, its incredibly comfortable, stretchy and well worth the price. While the chunky feel may not be for everyone, personally I found when your feeling your balls pulled down from your body, your kept rock hard and the veins in your member are popping out its a sight to behold.

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  • Lovense Gush 2 Review - Holy F-balls...this thing just gave me a hands free orgasm!

    smuttexts

    Sep 29, 2025

    Lovense Gush 2 Review - Holy F-balls...this thing just gave me a hands free orgasm!

    After extensive testing of various automated strokers and things you put your junk into, I think I've finally found a toy that can achieve the elusive hands free orgasm! I mean you will still need you hands to get it in place and attach some straps but once that's done, just put on your favourite movie and let the Gush 2 take you to orgasm town. Let's just say this thing is a pretty amazing piece of kit.

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  • Momonii Skullman from Beyourlover toys - Do you want to F-me punk?

    smuttexts

    Sep 23, 2025

    Momonii Skullman from Beyourlover toys - Do you want to F-me punk?

    Let’s be honest - sex toys for guys can be a bit uninspired. Most fall into the usual categories: strokers shaped like flashlights, anal toys that all feel eerily similar, or yet another variation from Tenga. Sure, the designs may differ slightly, but unless you’re diving into the high-end, bespoke market, variety is pretty limited. But every now and then, something truly different comes along—something affordable and fun. Enter the Momonii Skull Man: an automatic thrusting and vibrating toy with LED eyes and a personality all its own. It’s quirky, it’s wild, and surprisingly, it doesn’t break the bank. Of course, it’s not without its flaws—but we’ll get into all of that in the full review below.

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  • Kiiroo FeelStars - Agatha Vega Masturbator. This Thing is BEW-DI-FUL!

    smuttexts

    Sep 22, 2025

    Kiiroo FeelStars - Agatha Vega Masturbator. This Thing is BEW-DI-FUL!

    Now this is going to go over the heads of anyone who didn't grow up in Australia in the late 80's and early 90's, but in the words of Con the Fruiterer - this toy is BEW-DI-FUL. Seriously I mean it, Kiiroo knocked this one out of the park! The material is soft but with enough heft to not feel cheap and the sculpt is amazing, displaying a level of detail I haven't seen in a stroker before. If Kiiroo keep this up, I think they may become my preferred manufacturer for porn star toys. There were a couple of small issues however, including a tear that appeared in the opening but overall this is a fun sleeve that will provide you with plenty of enjoyment.

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  • Lelo - F1S v3 Review

    smuttexts

    Sep 05, 2025

    Lelo - F1S v3 Review

    The Lelo F1S V3 is an automatic, rumbly bit of kit that is different from many other toys on the market. It offers a more subtle and refined experience but unfortunately this does come with a high price tag. Overall though it's an engaging, pleasurable device that isn't afraid to try something new. Boasting "sonic" vibrations, strong motors and A.I. features this could be the most tech forward piece of kit I've played around with thus far. One thing is for certain though, it's defiantly the most expensive high end device that I own.

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  • Kiiroo Power Blow - A Little Sucker!

    smuttexts

    Sep 02, 2025

    Kiiroo Power Blow - A Little Sucker!

    The Kiiroo PowerBlow is an add on device for the Kirroo range of strokers and can be used with the Keon automatic masturbator and excels in its ability to suck. The are significant drawbacks here related to its usability: tricky controls, reliance on apps, additional services and poor integration with interactive content hamper the overall experience for users who may prefer something simpler. If you’re open to app integration, have a Kiiroo Keon and need something to add a bit more pull you may have a great experience, for everyone else there are better options elsewhere.

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  • Fleshlight Girls - The Eliza Ibarra Ethereal Edition

    smuttexts

    Sep 02, 2025

    Fleshlight Girls - The Eliza Ibarra Ethereal Edition

    The Eliza Ibarra - Ethereal sleeve is a twisty delight, with multiple pressure points along the length of the sleeve combined with a detailed fleshy entry. While the mid section can feel a little loose, this is not entirely a bad thing as it gives you some room to relax and concentrate on the tighter opening that grips the base and shaft and nubby third section that stimulates the frenulum. Well endowed users will be able to make use of the tighter end section that stimulates and sucks at the head of the penis. Overall this is a very enjoyable addition to my Fleshlight collection, and one that I will be returning to many times in the future (or right about now).

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  • Svakom Jordan - The Slim Thrusting Butt Plug

    smuttexts

    Aug 20, 2025

    Svakom Jordan - The Slim Thrusting Butt Plug

    I'll cut to the chase—anal toys have never really been my thing. It’s just not an area I’ve explored much, and to be honest, I wasn’t sure if it ever would be. That said, I’ve always been open to trying new things... and try I did. Enter the Svakom Jordan—a slim, beginner-friendly anal plug that combines both vibrating and thrusting functions in a surprisingly compact package. The toy has a firm structure with angled ribs and a cushioned head that made insertion feel smooth and comfortable, even for someone completely new to anal play. The narrow neck leads into a wide, sturdy base that sits snugly and safely in place, so there’s never any concern about it going too far. As someone stepping into this kind of play for the first time, I was a bit sceptical about how it would feel. But honestly? I was impressed. The sensations were far more enjoyable than I expected, and the combination of features made the whole experience both exciting and approachable. This is definitely a toy I can see myself returning to again and again.

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  • Toycod - Usagi Review: The Rabbit Ear Cock

    smuttexts

    Aug 08, 2025

    Toycod - Usagi Review: The Rabbit Ear Cock

    The Toycod Usagi (Japanese for "rabbit") is clearly designed with shared pleasure in mind. Its soft silicone rabbit ears sit at the tip and are perfect for clitoral, nipple, or glans stimulation. The vibrations felt are strong and rumbly, delivering solid external stimulation without feeling too buzzy. When compared to other cock rings on the market, the clasp-style design makes it incredibly easy to attach or remove, even when you're not fully erect and can be adjusted for different levels of pressure. This is a user-friendly and comfortable cock ring that's suitable for use solo or with a partner. Whilst its missing features like app control, the included remote ensures that you do not need to fumble around with pressing buttons on the toy itself during play and overall considering its price point it is a much more stimulating and engaging alternative to simple silicone rings.

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  • Fleshlight Girls - The Janice Griffith Eden Edition

    smuttexts

    Aug 07, 2025

    Fleshlight Girls - The Janice Griffith Eden Edition

    I’ve been watching Janice Griffith ride her way to stardom since she first entered the industry in 2013, and as a fan of her work to say I enjoyed having a realistic copy of her tight lips in my hands would be an understatement. The fact that this toy also feels amazing to use is icing on the cake. Sure, there were a couple of small design quirks and minor quality control issues, but at the end of the day these did not ruin the overall experience. The Eden's internal structure offers something a little different and when combined with Janice's lips plus the darker sleeve colour they combine to make something that I genuinely enjoyed. Overall, the Janice Griffith Eden is a great addition to my collection, and one I can see myself coming back to regularly.

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  • Svakom Sam Neo 2 Pro - This Thing Sucks in a Great Way

    smuttexts

    Aug 01, 2025

    Svakom Sam Neo 2 Pro - This Thing Sucks in a Great Way

    The Svakom Sam Neo 2 stands out as an advanced, interactive option in the automatic masturbator category. With suction, vibration, heating, and app support—including live video and long-distance play - it offers an overall premium experience with a multitude of options. Yes there are some draw backs such as weight, bulk and controls but if you're after an overall feature-rich toy that delivers immersive sensations, it’s definitely worth considering.

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