Reviews

This cute toy is such a gem. You can literally massage your feet and back with it, too. Watch my full review!

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The Satisfyer Pro + G-Spot wants to be your all-in-one pleasure solution. On paper, it ticks a lot of boxes: internal and external stimulation, powerful vibes, strong suction, dual motors, waterproof design... sounds great, right? And while it can absolutely deliver orgasms, it’s got a few hurdles to jump before it gets you there. This toy feels like an ambitious group project where not all the team members are on the same page. The air pulse suction? Strong and effective. The internal vibrations? Deep and rumbling. But when it comes to doing both at once — especially on your anatomy? It doesn’t always work out. The shaft is hard and not very forgiving, and the alignment between your G-spot and clit has to be just right for the toy to shine. If it lands in that sweet spot for you, congrats! You’ve found a great little dual-action vibe at a good price. But if not? It can quickly become frustrating, uncomfortable, or just... not worth the effort. We had our moments with it, sure. But it never made it into our regular rotation. The design limits flexibility, and the rigid build doesn’t help. It’s solid for solo play, but loses its spark for couple sessions — and don’t get us started on all that unnecessary plastic in the packaging. 😑

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Gotta get the usual puns/jokes and comments out of the way... Ready to get down and dirty in the sand?! Talk about fun in the sun! Sex on the beach anyone? Okay, got that out of my system... CalExotics Venice Vixen is my favorite "all in one" toy by CalExotics thus far as it's internally and externally stimulating at the same time. Compared to the Jack Rabbit it feels better built and high quality, with a different and personally more preferred shaft shape. The best thing about the Jack Rabbit was the ears, which in all honest I prefer to have over the encaser the Venice Vixen has to offer as they are just... more invigorating. Incase you're wondering and want an easy summation of features, the CalExotics Venice Vixen has 10 clitoral encaser modes, 3 shaft intensities, a use time of 45 min on high and 150 on low, a charge time of 150 mins, and though no IPX rating is officially provided it claims it's waterproof.

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This lip-locking sensual sucker is the best kisser in town! To semi quote Diageo from Silicon Valley... "This toy fuuucks!" *mind blown emoji lol* CalExotics French Kiss is hands down my favorite CalExotics toy thus far! My favorite part of the CalExotics' Jack Rabbit was the ticklishly tantalizing ears, and that's now been combined with the sucking sensation I've "come" to enjoy from toys like the Satisfyer Mission Control and Romp Lipstick... Merci for the toy I never knew I was missing out on lol. This beautiful toy has the poise of the INYA Rose but is bit better in several ways. It has 12 totally fuckable functions, two interchangeable heads, a travel lock setting, a memory chip and can be submersed in water... Can you say... "Ooo la la!" xD

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Motorbunny Playmate had me soooo excited to start playing games more often again, I mean, who doesn't want to add a little more spice to game night outside of the usual strip Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, or Super Smash Bros?! Unfortunately, I'm so sad to say that I'm actually disappointed in it. It's not as reactive as I thought it would be when relaying the controller rumbles created by in-game actions. I was most definitely looking forward to the haptic feature, not even thinking about or caring that there was going to be a Wii-remote style tilt feature at all. Funny enough, I felt the same disappointment I got when I realized I don't have to actually exercise to play the Wii at all, I can just continue sitting on my ass and just flick my wrist more than usual. Essentially I feel this should have been advertised as a sensual step counter instead of a sensual haptics device which is utterly heartbreaking. I don't know if it would be possible to make a 3 way switch for this device but it would be awesome to have one. One setting for pure tilt play, one for pure haptics and one that would allow it to act like it does now with the mix of tilt and haptics. To have a more pure response to in-game haptics could make twitch streams, long distance relationships or just general play more intimate and fun as the other players would actually have to work hard to cause reactions. Right now there are some haptics but honestly the most toy reaction is coming from the tilt of whoever is holding the device itself or the controller it's plugged into which doesn't make it interactive play with anyone more than a few feet from the toy... Don't get me wrong, it still gets the job done quite well, but I really really really reeeeeeaaally wanted the spontaneity of actual game play, not me making sure I tilt my controller the right way to get myself off while playing in a room on my own. Again I can just flick my wrist I don't actually have to do the jumping jack... ><'

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Wow! The Lelo Sona Sonic Clitoral Massager is a gorgeous toy—it comes in a range of colors, though my favorite is black with gold trim and a beautiful curve accented by glimmering metal and sleek silicone. The buttons are interestingly on the bottom of the toy but made accessible by the gracious curve of its handle. The intensity changes by holding the button down while the toy automatically increases or decreases strength, an odd feature, but I got used to it very quickly. The air pulsing technology is smooth and well-contained within the rim of the suction head. My only complaint is that the head is on the smaller side. This only means that the toy is targeted, giving you more precision in your pleasure. The packing and presentation of the toy feel sexy. It’s like being handed a VIP invitation. There’s something mysterious and sleek about it. Overall, this is a fantastic toy, delivers incredible orgasms, and looks good while doing it.

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Sohimi’s Vortex P three spot stimulator toy is a beautiful, silky-skinned toy that left all of it’s users breathless and steeped in bliss. This toy is one of the most eager to serve toys I’ve seen in my time. The toy is quiet enough to be polite, and fits snugly inside, especially with the wide variety of vibration and licking settings (5 licking modes, 5 g-spot pulses, and 10 types of buzzings). I’ve seen many toys boast about having hundreds of settings, but at the end of the day quality always kneels beneath quality. The numbers are in the perfect sweet spot between variety and utility. In fact, even to the vibrating, dumb, and warm body it’s ease of use still isn’t lost to the pleasure it brings. The Vortex P is also a refreshing piece of fresh air to someone who needs more attention and care to actually enjoy myself- the toy’s functions not only change speed, but pattern and intensity rather than the standard increase in speed with constant pressure (pulse number four on the g-spot is one of my favorites). Despite how polite and loyal the Vortex P is, she does have her faults. She is advertised to work long distance, and intrigued, my and my boyfriend tried it out while I was out of the state. Despite doing every single thing we could, the toy wouldn’t connect. This was a major drawback for us, especially since we used to be more long distance. If remote control is the main reason you would like the Vortex P, I would advice against it. Not only this, but if working on all fronts, she lasts 15 minutes at most, and dies without warning. We have had this dim a few movements, but luckily the toy’s flexibility and comfortable fit makes a good fit for a reliable dildo instead. Although it is more fit for solo play, I have found that using it on someone else as a dildo can be an endless source of fun because of how sensitive the buttons are, but I can understand how that could be a downside for others.

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(((3-3.5/5))) I would prefer an Amazon knock off brand to this device, although most knock offs do not have an app to connect and use from a distance or via bluetooth, or an app that is efficient enough. I was disappointed for the cost of this product and expected more from it. This guy is just far too expensive. And you won’t be able to return it after using it.

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The Satisfyser Pro 2 is nearly the perfect toy. Its suctioning vibrations range from very gentle to bedshakingly powerful. Every other toy manufacturer should take notes on the layout of the Satisfyser button. One button for on/off, another with an up and down arrow to move freely between intensities. There’s no cycling between weird patterns or having to reach full power just to cycle back down to a lower intensity. It has genuinely always baffled me that toy designers can’t figure this one out, but finally, Satisfyser has. Personally, I’m not a fan of vibration patterns unless they’re really show-stopping. Satsfyser has one vibration mode utilizing air pulsing pressure waves with 11 intensity options. The only note I have is the shape. The head of the vibrator pokes out too far from the handle. It isn’t too bothersome while lying on your back. But to avoid being too annoyed when flipped over, I recommend positioning a pillow under your lower stomach to elevate your hips and get them higher than the vibrator. Otherwise, the toy will be rough on your wrists and hips.

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It may not lick you like a lollipop, but it'll suck you like you are one! (Maybe \_(-_-)_/) My experience was not a Lil Wayne one lol, in fact my experience sucked in the wrong way. Though the clitoral sucker functions perfectly, I found that I could not get it into a position that got me off. The only thing erotic and stimulating about this toy for me was the phallic shape and the vibrating features. That being said it might be different for someone else and may be the perfect introduction to clitoral suction toys as well as vibrating dildos.

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Not to split hares here, but I don't find this device to be as hopped up as I'd like it to be. As someone that was fresh.. lipped (?) to this world only a month or so ago, it's weird to say that I'd recommend this as a potential beginner toy to someone that wants to experience a thrusting toy, a dildo and a clitoral stimulator for the first time. In my opinion, the thrusting is a bit bland and wonky, but it being an isolated feature with the basic 3 intensities allows you to see/feel if it's a style you enjoy and would like to include as a feature in future toy purchases. With the thrusting feature turned off, you're left with just a dildo that's ribbed for your pleasure, this allows you to see if you're into doing the thrusting yourself and which phallic style/shape tickles your fancy. The rabbit ears may make your hares stand up, toes curl, and potentially have you giggling after moaning lol.

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If you want "licked" so good your toes curl, your lip hurts from biting it, your eyes roll so far back they come back around and your body tenses with pleasure to an intense degree.... then the "tongue" feature on this device alone is worth getting the product. The rest you can read about below as this was the only saving grace and highly enjoyable feature of this toy in my opinion.

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This is by far my favorite sex toy… it’s my first suction toy and I’m fully impressed! I would recommend this to any of my friends! For themselves or friends or partners etc. the charging time is quick for a full charge and it lasts so long. It hasn’t died on me yet!!!

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I had a lot of fun with this toy! It was definitely something different. I think something that really stands out about this toy is how bendy and flexible it is. You can get creative with your solo and partnered play. Also, the color!? So cute. I love the mint green they went with.

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This toy from Funzze is incredibly... fun. It's literally a 3-in-1 contraption, which is crazy to even think about. I will say that the caveat in that is the 3-in-1 "functions" work so far apart from one another. So instead of feeling three things at once, you're given the choice to feel 3 different things from 1 toy. Still, I loved the oscillations and the thrusting. The suction part of the toy could use some improvements in a future design. But did I have fun with this thing? Totally!

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This naughty little Venus Butterfly has some ulterior motives. Instead of simply giving your G-spot a little vibe, the butterfly's little antennae offer some fun by being affected perfectly by the vibrating shaft. If you're looking for a smaller-sized toy with much to offer, this little bug from Calexotics Connect should be on your shopping list. It's a simple design, but it's one that honestly does more than you'd expect from it at first glance.

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