Alien Nation: Lick of the Lair

When it comes to the EroGeisha Jousho I have to say it’s been a pretty intriguing experience. The firm silicone and well-designed shape deliver a precise and satisfying feel, with the pronounced vein textures adding a nice touch of stimulation. While the toy doesn’t come with a suction cup, and reaching its full eight and a half inches on my own proved challenging, it still offers a comfortable and pleasurable experience when used with a harness. The thoughtful design, including the smooth taper and pointed tip, makes insertion straightforward and enjoyable. For those who appreciate a firmer, more controlled sensation, the Jousho is definitely worth considering. If EroGeisha ever decides to add a suction cup base or offer different firmness options, it could elevate the experience even further. Overall, the Jousho stands out for its solid build and effective design, making it a worthy addition to any collection.

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This is a fun toy with a nice, tapered head. The flared base makes this toy easy to use anally.

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This might seem like your standard silicone dildo, but trust me, this is no ordinary suction cup companion. The moment you insert this baby and start to move, those weighted balls inside spring into action, delivering subtle, hypnotic rumblings that take the experience from “nice” to “wait, what just happened?!” This isn’t just another toy—it’s a multi-tasker, perfect for both vaginal and anal play. It absolutely delivers on its promises. The “shake, rattle, roll” effect provides deep, rumbly vibrations that are so satisfying, you’ll find yourself moving just to keep the magic going. The size? It hits that sweet spot—not quite beginner-friendly but forgiving enough for anyone to experiment. Even if you only go halfway, the sensations are incredible. The premium silicone feels great externally and internally, adding to the experience, and the suction cup is strong enough to stay exactly where you need it, even during more adventurous moments. The Bouncer works great in a harness too. The rolling balls create a dynamic rhythm that you and your partner will feel with every move, which gives strap on play a whole new pleasure hit. The only catch? It’s on the girthier and firmer side, so it might take a little warming up if you’re newer to larger toys. But once you’re in the zone, it’s nothing short of amazing. Ohh! It can totally join you in the bath or shower, bouncing in water an experience, you'd want to try for sure.

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Short, stubby, and with a massive head, the Plumber dildo from Hankey’s Toys wastes no time in getting right to the business of plugging your leaky pipes. This pleasurable plunger is great for those who either love the feeling of a pronounced head popping in and out, or for couples who love using a strap-on but struggle with longer toys and really want to feel their partner’s body push up against them as they take the full length. Oh—and for people who fantasize about fucking Mario. I guess that’s a thing?

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After spending some quality time with the Syrrhin from Loot Cave Toys, I can say it’s a truly unique and versatile addition to any collection. The design is both aesthetically pleasing and functional, with its subtle "S" curve, prominent textures, and that satisfying knot. The soft 00-30 silicone strikes a great balance between firmness and flexibility, making it comfortable while still delivering a solid, pleasurable experience. The Syrrhin really shines in its ability to adapt to different preferences. Whether you're into slow, sensual play or more intense, deep stimulation, this toy has you covered. The lack of a suction cup might be a drawback for some, but it’s easily worked around with a bit of creativity, and the strap-on compatibility adds even more possibilities. Overall, the Syrrhin offers a dynamic and enjoyable experience that’s well worth exploring, especially if you’re looking for something that pushes boundaries in a comfortable, satisfying way.

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Ahoy me hearties! If you’re buying an insertable toy for pegging, you be wantin’ a curve. It’s that curvature that enables it to get in, and up, and hit the prostate—like a curled-up finger. While other toys might have a little nobbley bit or you’ll need to reposition yourself for the best experience, the Captain’s Hook from Hankey’s Toys is an almost comically curved dildo that’s absolutely perfect for missionary styles of pegging positions. And it’s not just great for the p-spot; if you like big toys for g-spot stimulation then this should work wonders too. But for now, raise your Jolly Roger, shiver yer timbers, and avast ye: the Captain’s Hook!

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This thrusting dildo from Tracy's Dog is an amazing experience if you take your time to prepare. It is an intermediate toy and caution should be had if it's your first toy. I really enjoyed the combination of the thrusting and vibrating modes. The texture is soft with a stiff core, making riding fun. The design and mix of thrusting and vibrations allow you to not even need to move much to feel massive pleasure. If you're interested in a larger toy that can do a lot of the work for you then I'd go with this one. For the price point, I'd expect it to be loaded with surprises. In general, It's a great toy for both anal and vaginal play.

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In conclusion, like the rolling of the tides, the Realsexlife Siren has its highs and lows. Getting started with its rock-solid head definitely requires some patience, but once you're past that, the rest of the ride is surprisingly smooth and comfortable. I appreciated how it molds to my body, hitting all the right spots effortlessly. The vibrations are where this toy truly shines—deep and powerful, they really ramp up the pleasure. On the downside, the suction cup didn’t hold up well once the vibrations kicked in, which was disappointing. However, it is harness-compatible. Still, if you can look past its faults, the Siren offers a stimulating experience with its mix of textures and strong vibrations, making it worth considering for your pleasure arsenal.

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