Creature Cocks: Swamp Monster (I Named Him Greg)

Short, stubby, and with a massive head, the Plumber dildo from Hankey’s Toys wastes no time in getting right to the business of plugging your leaky pipes. This pleasurable plunger is great for those who either love the feeling of a pronounced head popping in and out, or for couples who love using a strap-on but struggle with longer toys and really want to feel their partner’s body push up against them as they take the full length. Oh—and for people who fantasize about fucking Mario. I guess that’s a thing?

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The SinSaint Feral embodies a daring blend of primal allure and artisan craftsmanship. Its intricate design and premium materials not only elevate the aesthetic appeal but also ensure a deeply satisfying experience. While its unique appearance may not appeal to everyone, those captivated by its bold statement will find it a worthwhile addition to their collection. ​My only critique lies in the limited options, particularly the lack of external features available on sizes smaller than large. Including these features would have enhanced the overall experience significantly. Despite this, the Medium Feral is a very well-thought-out and crafted dildo that is able to contend without the aid of vibration devices.

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After spending some quality time with the Syrrhin from Loot Cave Toys, I can say it’s a truly unique and versatile addition to any collection. The design is both aesthetically pleasing and functional, with its subtle "S" curve, prominent textures, and that satisfying knot. The soft 00-30 silicone strikes a great balance between firmness and flexibility, making it comfortable while still delivering a solid, pleasurable experience. The Syrrhin really shines in its ability to adapt to different preferences. Whether you're into slow, sensual play or more intense, deep stimulation, this toy has you covered. The lack of a suction cup might be a drawback for some, but it’s easily worked around with a bit of creativity, and the strap-on compatibility adds even more possibilities. Overall, the Syrrhin offers a dynamic and enjoyable experience that’s well worth exploring, especially if you’re looking for something that pushes boundaries in a comfortable, satisfying way.

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Overall I have no complaints about it, but at the same time, no real praise. I like that it glows in the dark, the suction cup is solid, and the size is decent. It's fairly priced and well-made. I got enjoyment out of this one, but there isn't much unique that makes this stand out. That being said: If you have an interest in creature toys, I'd still pick it up. It will definitely still make for a pleasurable ride.

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If you're looking for a vibrating dildo that you can have tons of fun with alone or play with your partner, even if they're a long-distance love, this is a great option to go with. There are many fun benefits to the Mission 2 from Lovense, some that may even surprise you (they surprised me). With an app that allows full control of the Mission 2, you don't need to worry about pushing more than the "on" button on your toy. Not only that, but this fun vibe comes with three parts that, once put together, allow you to suction your toy to the wall and adjust it to your preferred position. Keep reading to learn more.

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Tawney finds the Calexotics rechargeable rumbling and thrusting silicone dildo fun, affordable, and well-suited for those looking to explore thrusting toys. While she appreciates its soft silicone material, realistic design, and waterproof feature, she wishes the vibration and thrusting functions could be controlled separately. Overall, it’s great for hands-free and harness use, making it ideal for vaginal penetration but less powerful for anal use.

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In conclusion, like the rolling of the tides, the Realsexlife Siren has its highs and lows. Getting started with its rock-solid head definitely requires some patience, but once you're past that, the rest of the ride is surprisingly smooth and comfortable. I appreciated how it molds to my body, hitting all the right spots effortlessly. The vibrations are where this toy truly shines—deep and powerful, they really ramp up the pleasure. On the downside, the suction cup didn’t hold up well once the vibrations kicked in, which was disappointing. However, it is harness-compatible. Still, if you can look past its faults, the Siren offers a stimulating experience with its mix of textures and strong vibrations, making it worth considering for your pleasure arsenal.

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The initial thought of a hyper realistic looking vibrator was somewhat chilling and kind of off putting. Looking at a product like Utimi's Heavenly had me absolutely terrified to the point that it ended up becoming laughable lol. I feel even Utimi knows it's a scary thing because they chose not to show the real vibrations in their video for it but rather some Microsoft PowerPoint style animations. ><' That being said, Utimit's Lavender is surprisingly far more acceptable to me than I could have ever imagined. Please do me a favor and go check out the site's video for this product as I don't know why but the music choice and everything about it had me rolling while I was trying to find a few more details to put in this review, it's beautiful lol. Well done to that editing team lol. In all seriousness though, I oddly found that the realism of this product satiated a weird fantasy craving that I didn't know was buried in the back of my mind. Utimi's designers must know a thing or two about color theory and how Lavender affects feelings and responses, as it definitely made this product 1000000% more acceptable than the genuine hyper realistic colors and textures of their Heavenly product. Of all the thrusting devices I currently own, I believe that this one is the best and on full charge the vibration settings are quite lovely. I would recommend this as a good first time dildo for someone that's wants a bit of help in the self sparked fantasy department or just enjoys an actual dick now and then.

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